There is no good excuse for my prolonged absence. Really, there is just one word: overwhelmed. That describes what my dominant mood has been for more months than I care to count. In fact, I can just now say, not that I am no longer overwhelmed, but rather that I can finally imagine the possibility of not being overwhelmed.
I’ve learned firsthand the perks and difficulties of single parenthood, and I have gained much respect for those single parents who manage it all without the strong support system I am lucky to have.
I realized that quality time with my son was not worth sacrificing for another couple hundred dollars and quit my second part-time job. Once that was gone realized that my sanity is also worth much more than what they were paying me.
I had to give up some things that brought me joy, and take on some things I dislike, because I am literally responsible for everything.
I also dealt with a lengthy and pricey divorce, and discovered that they only thing more fun than divorcing the person with whom you thought you would spend the rest of your life is going through a divorce when the other party has a diagnosed disability that affects his socio-emotional development. Fun times indeed.
At least, despite the turmoil, I have found some much needed clarity and made some plans to move forward. Unsurprisingly, the conclusion is that I am more interested in doing and living than working and having. And the most logical place for me to look then is the List… which no longer seems to fit my life. Some of the goals are no longer relevant, and others are no longer reachable based on my current situation. Instead I want to focus on the things that truly make me happy: wandering (both literal and metaphorical) and my son. I’ll be writing about that elsewhere.
Thank you to those who read this blog.
Live with passion always.